The 'MC Memo'
  May 19, 2009

In today's fast paced job market, it might be time to hone your skills and become familiar with technology that will make the computer obsolete. We don't know what that technology will be, exactly, but our advice is that you find out and start learning so you'll be far ahead of the game when the market moves beyond computers.

'Experts' have suggested that trancendental meditation, telepathy, and the development of psychic sensitivity may be viable successors to the current information medium (no pun intended). The're  calling it the "New Information Age", a concise combination of the terms "New Age" and "Information Age". Although such projections are not guaranteed to be accurate, our 'Experts' point out that getting a foothold in transcendental metaphysics may in fact open doors to a new career even before trends spell out the demise of the computer..

May 19, 2009

When you show up for a job interview, you want to make a first impression that will really stand out and last long after you've left their office. Here are some tips on how to make your mark better than a rottweiler on a fire hydrant.

Before the interview, make it a point to stay up as late as humanly possible the night before in order to get prepared. Also, you don't want to wear your best clothes. By doing this, you're letting the employer know that you're saving you 'nice' clothes for the actual job. To really get this point across, wear your 'laundry day' clothes. They'll see your commitment and know that you plan to take pride in yourself when you're working for them. Another preperation tip is not to neglect your cologne or perfume. Make sure you have the very best on  (look for magazine ad samples) and wear a lot so that they'll get the message that you wear expensive cologne, therefore have refined tastes, and will not settle for a pittance when it comes to your salary.

You want to leave your perspective employer with the impression that you're not just a nobody with nothing to do; that you're  looking for a job to kill the time or simply because you're desperate for work. To help mitigate these potential negative impressions, try showing up fashionably late by about 15-20 minutes. When you arrive, let them know that your schedule has been very pressing and that you came in as soon as you were freed up. You want to look like a busy, happening person, but you don't want to seem frazzled or overwhelmed. You want to look confident and 'in control'. So be sure to include a lot of swagger and sashay when you come in for your interview. As an added bonus, you can enhance this effect by reducing as many possible nouns to single syllables. For example, instead of saying "let me check my schedule"  try something more bodacious like "let me check me 'schedge'"; or instead of saying "Here's my resume" you can cool-it-up by just saying "my res". This will make you look confident, happening, very in-demand and, even better, more attractive to your soon to be 'new' employer.

Lastly, when you actually get to the interview, know what you're there for: YOU. Why else would they interview you if they didn't want to know about you? So make it a point to talk about yourself as much as possible. Talk about what you had for lunch, what you had  for breakfast, what your prefer for breakfast, what you think of only two scoops in Raisen Bran... etc. If you're not sure where to begin, just start at the beginning. Prepare a mental script of your life story and include as much detail as you can.

Finally, after the interview is over, most HR professionals will reach out for a final hand-shake. See their offer and raise them a 'high-five' or a 'hug'. If there is more than one interviewer present, collude them into a group hug or double high-five or both. They'll not only see your enthusiasm, but also your willingness to do more than just what's asked or expected of you. They'll know you're someone who 'takes it to the next level'.


Job interviews are not always easy, but as long as you remember what it takes to make a first impression that counts, you're always going to make that impression when the opportunity comes. Good luck! 

May 19, 2009

Now the George Bush is out of office and we're well past 100 day mark of Obama's presidency, we should at least be glad that the leader of the free world can form complete sentences.

So now to the economy. What the government should do is just print money. That's right! Print money. In fact, it might be a good idea to genetically engineer some species of trees to grown $20 bills instead of leaves. This would solve the economic crisis. Money wouldn't be worth anything and therefore no longer an issue.